


A most disastrous report

by Twisted_Minds_Shattered_Souls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:39:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5059744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Minds_Shattered_Souls/pseuds/Twisted_Minds_Shattered_Souls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raveena 'Raven' Crownland needs to submit her report concerning her undercover work in midst of the Death Eaters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. July, 1995: Start of the nightmare (Fudge you suck and prepare to die)

Due to the recent and of course unforeseeable events of the Triwizard Tournament, I was ordered, or rather forced to infiltrate the ranks of the Death Eaters and report their doings. This mission was given to me for two reasons, first and obviously the most important is that I am a pureblood and secondly because my fiancé died at the hands of some Death Eaters and thus it seemed unlikely that I would ever join their ranks for sure. Though these are sound arguments, there is no denying the fact, that this is an example of bad decision making. I was told to join the very people, who were responsible for his murder. I accepted and someone in the ministry pulled some strings and got me into the inner circle or as I call it hell.

The first three things that I realized during that month were that a) his lordship, the Dark Lord alias Lord Voldemort, or Idiot depending on who you ask, was more than just nuts he was positively insane and not the good one, b) there is one person even weirder, crazier and more dangerous than Voldi and that is Bellatrix, do not anger her or make her dislike you as you won’t survive it, and c) how the hell can I get out of here. All in all it was a perfect month, I got my Dark Mark, the real one thank you very much by the way; I met the Dark Lord and I stayed alive. To sum it up, nothing happened during this month that is of much importance, except that the celebration of his return were way over the top, but then again I’m talking about Mister Excessive himself.


	2. September, 1995: Hell no, why is he here (My life officially sucks now more than before)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven meets her prince not so charming.

This last month I was caught up in doing my work as Auror, with the Dark Mark, really great by the way and no, concealer does not help I know that because I tried. Alas, due to the celebrations of July, August was kind of a bore. One or two meetings in order to make plans, and they did not involve Potter to my surprise. However, it was decided that Voldi deserved to get his revenge (or rather the fulfilment of that damn prophecy). On my part, I considered myself lucky to not have been discovered and to be able and keep quiet during their boring monologues, they love to do that, even Shakespeare would be proud of them. To conclude August was nothing interesting and it could not have ended earlier for my sake. On another note, I have to admit that this damn Mark hurts like hell when his Stupidity is calling; never heard of owls or phones from the muggle world? Since I am at it, how about doing something about this whole muggles are retarded thing, I mean have you seen their inventions, mum will kill me if she finds out that I own some of them.

This month, however, is not so great, or should I say it is close to hell as one can be without being in hell itself. I met the one person I never wanted to see again, my prince charming in his black cloak, dark hair and pale skin. In order to understand why I am so charmed by him, I need to give you some information about our first meeting and until now our only. The name of said prince was Severus Snape and the first impression is always important and he ruined it in five seconds. As you know it was the year of the damn tournament and it was in December when I was designated to keep an eye on the tournament and the festivities. I had to attend the ball and was even off duty that night. First of all, I hate dresses as they are a nuisance to fight in. Secondly, I don’t dance and I did not plan on doing so that night. Finally, I met him and boy, did I regret it. He asked me for a dance and when I tried to refuse him he simply grabbed my arm and dragged me on the dancefloor. He gave me a short explanation kind of ‘I have to dance with you or else the headmaster will make me dance with my least favourite student’. We danced for about thirty seconds than I stepped on his toes and left him. I still remember his displeased expression and how he scolded me with his gaze. My only thoughts were that who the heck does he think he is? Well, now I met him again and it was quite the displeasure to put it nicely. By some evil scheme of the universe, he had to take the seat right next to me and his I-am-absolutely-nuts-ship mentioned that we make quite the couple. I managed not to throw up and simply looked elsewhere. My dark prince, however, decided to put it right and announced that he was single and would remain so for the foreseeable future. This concluded the meeting, really the topic about Potter was brought up shortly as his I-need-him-alive clarified that alive meant not half-dead or near dead, but alive and still kicking.


	3. December, 1995: Christmas was renamed into Voldi’s day (my hell continues and I am seriously not getting paid enough)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden engagement

As the end of the year approaches, I realize one thing and that is that I am not getting paid enough. It has now been half a year since I began my infiltration and it has been a living hell ever since. Voldi likes to sing, Severus likes to stay silent and Bellatrix loves to torture us with her sheer presence. In short, it has been quite the time.

Lord I-am-playing-Cupid has decided that the dark clothed prince and I would make the perfect couple. It started with a misunderstanding on part of all the Death Eaters. Severus and I had a talk about our fateful dance and how I asked him not to tell anyone about it. His brief, but sharp answer, and here I quote, was ‘Why should I remember such an unfortunate event?’ My immediate reaction was to slap him across the face, but I remained calm and collected. I simply stated that I was disappointed that he did not remember that special moment. The look on his face was quite the feast for my hurt pride, but never would I have thought that Lord Eavesdrop would do his name justice. He was concerned that Severus could not remember such an important date and wondered loudly if Severus was trying to break up with me. To my dismay, he proceeded than to say that it would be a shame to break up as we make a beautiful and powerful couple. Despite our insistences that we were never a couple to begin with, Lord Idiot announced our engagement. Severus simply stood there not saying anything while I tried to reason with Lord Making-decisions-for-others that Severus and I were both single and planned on remaining so. Unfortunately, Severus decided in that moment to use his mouth and agreed to the whole engagement thing. I was beyond angry and enrage, I was furious and bidding goodbye to my murder free life when I turned towards the pale and dark clothed idiot staying behind me. He said something about needing to talk to his bride-to-be and disapparated with me. Next thing I knew was that we were standing in a room full of books and cauldrons and ingredients for potion making. I somehow knew that he had taken me to his home, wherever that was. Still angry at his whole Yes-my-lord behaviour from before, I pushed him away and simply stood there waiting for an explanation that never came. Severus chose the same moment that I pushed him away to disapparate again. I could not believe that he just left me here alone and did not bother to give an explanation for his odd behaviour. I was still fuming when he returned and silently watched as he proceeded to put several protection spells up. When he finally turned his attention to me, I could no longer hold back my anger and lashed out, or as mother would say I behaved like a mudblood. He silently listened to me, a pained and somehow slightly amused expression on his face. When I was finished with giving him a piece of my mind, or rather having gone hoarse from all that yelling, Severus took out a black case and opened it. Inside was a beautiful silver ring engraved with runes (apparently it was a protection spell). He did not drop down on one knee, but simply presented me the ring. I was too shocked to react in any way. He simply took my left hand and slipped it on. ‘I guess I need to give you an explanation. The Dark Lord will be pleased by our engagement and may let his guard down. In addition, being the only ones single and in a marriageable age, sooner or later he would have tried to get us together. Just to clarify I don’t like you and never intend to marry you. However I need to please him in order to protect someone dear to someone dear to me.’ He then grabbed my hand and together we apparated in front of Lord Ruining-others-lives-is-my-hobby. Severus took my left hand and showed him the engagement ring, or as I liked to call it ring of doom. His Lordship was pleased by this and concluded the meeting.

As an immediate result of my engagement, I had to spend more time with prince charming and his potions. Until Christmas, we had had a lot of talks and discussions, or at least I talked and discussed things while he remained silent. In fact the only real conversation was just before Christmas and that was because we needed to decide whether or not we would attend Voldi’s ball. During this conversation, ever the gentleman, he asked me about my former fiancé. I told him about his tragic death and was kind of intrigued why Severus wanted to know which house he had been in. His reaction to my answer still intrigues me. ‘Gryffindor, of course. They always get themselves killed running head first into danger’ to quote his response. I sensed there was some deeper meaning to it, but did not ask. The conclusion of it was that we attended Lord Christmas-spirit’s ball.

The ball itself would have been great if not for the constant asking about the wedding date and Voldi’s singing sessions. Bellatrix tried to kill her husband with poison, but Severus procured the antidote. I had the honour to dance with Lord Dance-moves himself and my feet still suffer from the experience.


	4. March, 1996: My fiancé is crazy and I am too (Still stuck in hell with a charming companion)

During the time between these months of not reporting anything, quite a few things happened. I hate my life even more than before and had to spent some time with my family. My parents do not believe in my undercover work and simply think that I have gone crazy from all that grief. Besides as my mother put it ‘a Ravenclaw thinks first and then acts’ unlike some Gryffindors. Severus has been positively charming these past months, I never see him except for those damn meetings. His Craziness has been quite agreeable. If only I could say the same about Bellatrix.

In January, Lord Idiot gave us some much needed (not) information about his plans. But first and foremost he would need this damn prophecy to be in his hands. So we would need to break into my workplace and I needed to destroy some evidence of my undercover work otherwise I can kiss this hell goodbye. On second thought that idea is not half bad, no more Death Eaters, no more Voldi or my mother (and yes my mother is as bad as him or even worse depending on who you ask) I would finally be free. Never mind that, I will destroy the evidence and though the whole damn ministry is convinced that he has not returned (Potter is a freaking liar and Dumbledore wants to be minister of magic) I still do my job. I decided not to inform my superiors due to this precise fact. My undercover work has become a big dark secret between me and Kingsley and no one had the right to know.

While my secret life was destroying my real life, someone else decided to give me a much needed blow. Severus, my perfect fiancé, starting February stopped talking to me. Even during Voldi’s long monologues, he did not spare me a glance. Though I am not attracted to him, I am getting angry. Lord Your-business-is-my-business kept asking about a date and even worse if he could be the one holding the wedding. I had to deflect every single question and defer him to a later date when it would be appropriate. Mister Black-is-my-favourite-colour did not even bother to help me, and so help me God he will regret it. I’m getting angrier and angrier as proved by my stupid hair (spell went wrong during childhood, another disgrace to my family’s name). Bellatrix is irritated by everything right now and the way she is eyeing me does not help. However, that month we actually made some progress regarding Lord I’m-gonna-rule-the-world’s plans. He realized that he and the unfortunate child named Potter shared a connection; the pained look on Severus’s face soothed me and worried me. Maybe he once again had withheld some crucial information from me.

Now end of March, Mister Ice-cold-clothed-in-black has chosen me worthy of his attention once more. I was talking to Narcissa Malfoy, a woman devoted to her family and not to the family name, when he asked her if she would excuse me as he wished to talk to his ‘fiancée’, a most pained expression in his eyes. She, of course, benevolently agreed to his request and left us alone. Before I could even ask what was going on, he grabbed my waist and disapparated with me to his place. Once there I slapped him and was raging about his brutishness and how he dared to ignore me for nearly three months, wasn’t I supposed to be his fiancée? To my surprise, he only sighed and made a comment on how it was possible for me to be a Ravenclaw, when clearly I had a tendency to behave like a Gryffindor. As I was not about to shut up, he simply put me under a _silencio_ spell. Now I was not angry any longer, I was furious and believe me if I am furious hell seems like a cosy little place. I guess he saw my fury glinting in my eyes as he lifted the spell after making me promise not to open my mouth again. He then proceeded to explain to me his odd (normal as I am being told) behaviour. Since the beginning of the year a certain Dolores Umbridge is making life at Hogwarts difficult. As she is working in the ministry and of the Potter-is-a-liar fraction, he decided to keep me out of everything. I was about to give him another piece of my mind when I saw his expression and kept quiet. I have never seen him so distraught and later I found out that he had to help Potter and the animosity of the boy was growing more and more. Severus tried to protect me in his particular way and I honestly found it kind of cute and no, I am definitely not falling for him. After he had explained the situation, we began making plans as he was sure that Potter would not take his help for long and we needed a plan B in that case. We never returned to the meeting and after having come up with several plans we both went our separate ways.


	5. July 1996: One year in hell, it has been a blast until now

First of all, plan B to Z did not work. Bellatrix killed Sirius Black, but Potter survived. However, before I give you any details about that not so fateful night at the ministry, I want to recap these last months.

Severus and I were still making plans in order to avoid that Potter runs head on into his own demise (as you already know they worked perfectly). Severus still tried to keep me out of everything and even asked me to stop reporting back to headquarters as he thought that there might be a mole. We discussed all this always after Voldi’s meetings in Severus’s house. In regards to Voldi, he was slightly more nuts than usual. He was raving about that his hour of glory was drawing near and that soon everything he and we ever dreamt would be reality. I only hope for Lord Evil-means-crazy that my dreams will not become reality as he would not survive it. While Voldi already planned his victory festivities, Bellatrix was behaving in strange ways. If I say strange, I mean of course strange for her. She was quiet and seemed reflective, and this is not good for anyone. However I was preoccupied as Lord Everyone-loves-tattoos-especially-skulls-with-snakes wished to know when exactly Severus and I planned to have the wedding. Once again prince charming did not come to my rescue. Girls, listen up, there is no prince on a white horse that will come and rescue you, and you need to take matters in your own hands. I dutifully answered that once his Lordship has secured his victory, Severus and I would marry.

It was not until June that our plans were put into action. Voldi had the clever idea of luring Potter out by using their connection. Severus had tried his best, but the boy simply did not want to learn occulmency from him and due to his immaturity (if not sheer stupidity) he fell into Lord Masterplans-are-my-strength’s trap. Voldi had ordered me and Severus to stay back and practice our wedding vows, convinced that he would get that damn prophecy and Potter all at once. Bellatrix seemed way too eager to go with him. Severus returned to Hogwarts in order to keep up his cover, while I got back home and awaited my call to arms. However, I had not taken into account my dearest mother sudden visit. It has not been the first time that she appeared unannounced, but this time her timing sucked. She wanted to know why I had not visited her as often during these past months as one expects of a good daughter. Needless to say that I was trying my best to get of rid of her without being rude (which is impossible by the way), when Severus apparated into my living room (he had visited me a few times before in order to make the plans). The expression on my mother’s face was a sheer pleasure for me. Severus spared her no glance and came right up to me. He took my hand and disapparated with me.

Once again I found myself in Severus’ home. He was the one to announce that Sirius Black had died and that Lord This-time-I’m-gonna-win lost. He told me that Umbridge was going to leave Hogwarts, no real surprise there, and that he wanted me to keep a low profile as Lord Crazy-should-be-my-second-name was starting to suspect someone to be a mole. I told Severus that I still had to write my reports as I had been told to report orally in case some unwanted person found out about my investigation. Apparently that was all he wanted to hear as he nodded and then brought me back home, where my mother still waited.

Once he was gone, which meant a short hello to my mom; she was not amused and told me to find someone who had more husband material. I tried to kick her out; alas she is more stubborn than one might think. Nevertheless I am the only one allowed to criticise Mr Who-needs-colours-if-you-can-wear-black. Damn it, he is starting to grow on me. I ignored my mother’s rant about me being difficult and my behaviour, which does not meet the pureblood standard she has. I did, as always, not listen, which brought the result that my mom left me stating that it was impossible for me to be her daughter. This was nothing new, as it started the moment I got sorted in Ravenclaw. Finally alone, I tried to reach Kingsley in order to get a status update, but he told me to stay low.


	6. November 1996: The mysterious deaths of Voldi’s girlfriends and I got naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some nudity, if only mentioned.  
> In addition it might be that Severus Snape is slightly OOC-ish

During the summer months, Severus and I got closer in terms of friendship. He was not as unapproachable as in the beginning and actually I learnt a thing or two about brewing the perfect potion. When alone we never talked about Potter or Lord Crazy, in fact we did not speak if not necessary. Although sometimes he would ask how work had been and if I could give him some ingredients, but we never got past this stage. I became fond of these moments and really enjoyed being with him. Yes, I realize how that sounds and no I will not change the wording to make it less awkward for you.

However, let’s go back to business. After the defeat in June, July had been quiet and no meetings were really held. End of August we knew why. Voldi had gotten himself over the past month a few girlfriends. Don’t even ask how he got them (I’m not sure how strong the love potion was that he gave them in order to make them see past everything). Nevertheless, each time all the members of the not so secret cult were informed about his relationship status by owls. Each time the following day, his girlfriend had been killed. There was only one person that enamoured with dear Lord I-need-potions-to-get-girls to kill his girlfriends. Indeed I guess everyone knew who it was except Lord Oblivious himself. He wanted me to investigate these cases and boy I had no fun at all. Bellatrix made sure to follow me around, having volunteered as my assistant. That rang some alarm bells at least for me and Severus. He also made sure to shadow me. If I thought Bellatrix was deranged, I clearly had not seen the last of it. She was not only crazy, no; there is no word to describe how far she descended into madness. The first victim had been _Avada Kedavra_ -ed. However, the next once showed clear signs of having been tortured before dying and the newest had even been mutilated. Bellatrix was clearly proud of her ‘art’ works, as she referred to the murders. Never in my life had I seen a person so insane and dangerous. I was more scared of her than I ever was of Voldi. In the end, Voldi stopped going out, why is still a mystery to me. My guess someone told him that it would be better to concentrate on Potter, as the meetings became more regular again.

It was in September, a week or two after Voldi had stopped having girlfriends; that I thought to take some much needed vacation from work. I wrote to Severus and met him two times before the incident happened. That day I had planned on taking a long bath, even if I am not girlish I like taking long baths to relax. I was about to get into the bathtub when my dark mark began to hurt, a sure sign that Lord Idiot-is-only-the-first-of-my-titles wanted to hold a meeting. I tried my best to ignore it, but after some time the pain became unbearable. So wrapping my towel around me and fuming with anger, I apparated right into the meeting place. Everyone was already there and by the looks on their faces, at least the male Death Eaters were enjoying the sight. I marched up to Voldi and kindly asked him to postpone the meeting as I wanted to finally take my relaxing bath. He was mustering me and I could feel how Bellatrix was already mentally killing me in several ways, all probably long and painful. When I had finished giving Lord Ruining-my-bath-time a piece of my mind, I turned around and tripped. Severus, ever the gentleman, tried to hold me back from falling by grabbing the towel. This had as a result that I still fell and that the towel loosened enough that when I stood up it fell down. Narcissia covered Lucius’s eyes, Severus stared at me, Lord Lecherous mustered me with a creepy smirk on his face, and Bellatrix was shooting daggers at me with her eyes, while the others either stared at me mouth wide open or had the decency to turn around. More calmly and collected than I actually was, I picked up my towel and disapparated. The origin of the disaster followed me as soon as possible as he only took a second to appear behind me. I left him standing in my living room while I went to get dressed. When I came down, he stood there apparently waiting for me to haul him over the coals. I would have done that, but I was still too shocked to grasp that nearly all Death Eaters had seen me naked. Severus finally looked at me and started to speak. I stopped him and simply said that we should go back. I guess he was too confused to ask why or insist on his apology, which by the way I got in form of chocolates – quite the romantic guy. We both apparated back to Lord Idiotic-crazy-lecher and then took our places. Of course, Bellatrix was still staring at me and I am pretty sure that if her gaze could kill I would not need to bother to write this report now. I remained silent and dignified – mum would have been proud of me, when Voldi cleared his throat and the following words came out: ‘Severus, I must thank you for the spectacular entertainment you provided us with tonight. It was, and if I may say so, a feast for our eyes.’ That was my queue. ‘I’m sorry, my lord. Severus only wanted to show you all what you will never get and that is me. Now if you would be so kind as to try and not summon us during unreasonable times and don’t you dare to interrupt me now, my lord, I would appreciate it. Some of us actually have a job and a quite exhausting one too. So, if you would now please excuse Severus and me, we had a date planned for tonight and you already took some of our precious time.’ Everyone’s eyes had widened with shock and Severus had a slightly amused expression in his eyes. Voldi stood up and approached me. Turning my chair around, he then placed his hand on my throat and slowly closed it. I did not cry nor did I plead for my life; however Severus stood up and placed his hand on Voldi’s. ‘My lord, she is still under shock of what happened and surely did not mean to disrespect you. Forgive her as she does not know her place.’ I stared at him, he was putting his mission at risk and so I asked Voldi for mercy in order to prevent Severus to do something he would regret. Voldi’s grip lessened before tightening again. He ordered Severus to let go of his hand, which the latter did, and lifted me up – he was quite strong for a madman. After holding me like that for a few seconds, he let me go and I fell onto the ground, coughing, but still alive. ‘Remember this lesson well, Raveena. Try to go against me one more time and you will die.’ This was the first time that I was scared of him. I nodded and Severus helped me up, before disapparating with me to his place.

There he took care of me, while cursing Lord Death-shall-I-bring. But he also scolded me for my stupidity and obvious death wish. As if it was not enough that Potter tried to get himself killed all the time, now his fiancée apparently also had a death wish, he muttered to himself. If my throat had not hurt so badly, I would have laughed. Here I was with this man, who had been my fiancé for more than half a year, and I was still amazed at how well he could control his emotions. He ordered me to sit down and went off to his brewing room, from where I still could hear him cursing and muttering. I found it really sweet of him to actually care for me, not used to being cared for. He returned with a brew and told me to drink it as it would ease my pain. I did not question him and drank it. I do not know why, but he stared at me in disbelief before beginning to mutter again about me being too trustful. We silently sat there until Severus asked me if it would be okay for him to leave for Hogwarts. I nodded and a moment later I was alone with my thoughts.

Halloween came around and I was watchful of my every move in case I would anger Lord Short-temper again. Bellatrix was still fuming about my incident from the month before, but I could not blame her as some Death Eaters clearly had a death wish and continued to talk about it. I ignored it as did Severus, especially when Voldi chipped in on the talk. Severus insisted on being by my side at all times during the meetings and sometimes even escorted me back home. I began to rely upon him and since some time ago he also had my trust.

In November, Voldi announced that during Christmas some more people would join us as fellow Death Eaters and each of us should prepare some kind welcome words for them. In addition, he would love for us to come up with a plan to kill Potter along the way. Bellatrix, of course, announced that she had a fool proof plan, which consisted in walking up to Potter and to _Avada-Kedavra_ him. We all disagreed and Lord I-need-him-alive-for-reasons gave an additional instruction which was capturing Potter alive and then killing him.


	7. March 1997: Voldi’s new soldiers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter, but necessary for Raven :)

As Voldi had promised, we really did get new recruits. Draco Malfoy was among them; however I got the feeling that he was only part of it due to Daddy Malfoy. In addition, Voldi seemed to become obsessed with Lucius; it seemed that each time something failed it was Lucius’s fault. I delivered my welcome speech, which Severus wrote for me – probably out of fear that I would say or do something stupid, which I admit is quite likely. They all got their Dark Mark and business went on as usual.

It was in February, that I learnt from Severus that Draco had gotten a special order. I could guess what it was. Draco was closer to Potter than any of us and unlike Severus he could freely move around in school without being noticed. However, it was only after everything had happened that I learnt about something else. Narcissa forcing Severus to proclaim the Unbreakable Vow was only the first step in direction of Severus’s ultimate demise. Severus never clarified the order, in a futile attempt to protect me.

My mum was still going on about how Severus was not a perfect match for me and that she knew plenty of young pure-blooded gentlemen, who would love to marry me. That was the last conversation I ever had with her. Severus may not have the lineage, she would have loved for my partner to have, but he was everything I could wish for. I broke all contact with her, but stayed in touch with my father.


	8. June 1997: A fight, death and new plans

After breaking off with my mother, Severus was the only person I trusted. In April, he told me about Draco’s order, but left out the Unbreakable Vow part –I have to thank Bellatrix for telling me in March just to see my pained expression. We had a huge fight as I informed him of my knowledge and begged him not to do anything. Severus said that he had to do it even if it would cost his life. I knew how desperate Voldi was to gain an advantage over Potter and had heard about the Elder Wand. I knew that Severus would keep the vow as it was unbreakable, but I also knew that it would mean for him to obtain the wand and then be killed by Voldi. Nevertheless, I did not tell him that I had seen through it in order not to worry him. Severus simply left me standing in my home and I only saw him during the meetings until June.

Voldi, on the other hand, had the best time of his life. He had found a way to defeat Potter and everything went according to plan. He even took the time to plan a celebration in honour of his greatness. As always Lord Excessive-in-everything-I-do was sure of his imminent victory. When the news of Dumbledore’s death arrived, he was positively ecstatic. I, however, remembered a question Severus had asked me during a meeting: ‘Do you trust me?’. I still don’t know why he had stared at me as if I had just lost my mind when I told him that indeed I did. Severus gave Voldi the Elder Wand and while Voldi was holding his speeches of victory being near and with it Potter’s death, Severus took my hand and together we left. He once again asked me if I trusted him and when I answered that I still do, he was obviously confused. He muttered something about me being stupid to trust him and that he would only hurt me. In order to make him shut up I gave him a kiss on his cheek. He stopped and stared at me in wonder. I simply smiled and waited for him to regain his composure. We joint the celebration once more and waited until the appropriate time to leave. While Severus was silent and did not answer any question asked, except when Voldi asked him to, I observed Draco. The boy obviously suffered and was feeling uncomfortable. His mother did not leave his side for a second, whereas his father stayed close to Lord I-am-the-greatest-there-is. I could not forgive Narcissa to have made Severus take an Unbreakable Vow, even though I could somehow understand her. Finally, Severus and I could leave the party. He brought me home, but before he could leave I asked him to stay for a cup of tea. I had seen his eyes and while he appeared to be fine, he obviously was not. While making the tea, I talked about the weather or the newest muggle book in my collection. Still a bit sour about the not-telling-me-about-the-vow stuff, I asked him to promise me to tell me about such important things, or in other words I asked him to trust me. His answer nearly broke my heart; he could not trust someone else if he could not trust himself. He had been deeply hurt by someone in the past, it seemed to me and as a result he had done something unbelievable stupid. I did not push the issue as I was sure that at some point I would find out the truth.

Nevertheless, we soon went back to our usual plan making. Now that Voldi had the Elder Wand and Dumbledore was dead, our problems were just beginning. Severus had agreed to take over as headmaster of Hogwarts or rather he had been installed by force. Two fellow Death Eaters would join him and keep a look out for anything Potter related. I would go back to my job and try and find some clues regarding everything Voldi related. Severus once again reminded me to keep a low profile. After he left, I owled my father and told him to take mum and leave the United Kingdom as fast as possible.


	9. November 1997: A war is coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short and uneventful chapter, but it sets the scene for the next one

Voldi was growing restless, even though he had Hogwarts under control, well mostly. Potter was still at large and even though he was sometimes spotted or nearly caught, he always managed to escape. Every trick in the book was used by Voldi to find the boy and he failed each time. Something had changed in Severus too. He grew distant and though he tried his best to protect the students at Hogwarts, he could not openly defy Voldi and his fellow Death Eaters. I, on the other hand, searched a way to defeat Voldi. The meetings were more regular and one could feel the tension rising with each passing day. Severus had barely time to see me, but every now and then he came to visit me and ask if I was alright – he always worries about everybody. It was end of October, when Voldi decided that in order to stop Potter he needs to be hurt and thus began to make plans regarding Hogwarts and Potter’s friends. Severus tried to convince him that he had the school under control, but everyone knew that Severus still was too kind to Potter’s friends. Nevertheless, Voldi declared that once Potter puts one foot into Hogwarts, there will be war.

By the end of November, I was convinced that we would lose and more importantly that I would lose Severus. If only I had trusted my gut instinct instead of him.


	10. June 1998: Victory and defeat are sides of the same coin

After the events of the past months, I am tired of everything. I cannot bear to look at the newspaper nor can I bear to look at the mirror. He is gone for good and forever. Never again will I see him or his slightly amused expression. Never again will I hear his voice either used to scold me or to sooth me. I lost him, but we won the war.

Let me shortly summarize what happened these past few months. Voldi became anxious as Potter managed to eliminate more and more horcruxes. Bellatrix worried about him and became more dangerous than ever. One false word or a slight undertone and she would put you six feet under. The meetings turned into a show of madness. Everyone was trying to please both the Lord and Bellatrix. At one point, we nearly had Potter, but fate let him escape. These months passed like a blur; however there is one instance I need to write down.

It was near the end of April, a few days before the battle of Hogwarts. Severus and I had a huge fight about him being at Hogwarts. Voldi needed to kill him in order to get control of the elder wand; in addition Lord Crazy had announced that he had found out who the mole was and planned on revealing him and make an example out of him. After waiting for the meeting to end I went searching for Severus and found him back at his place. Before he could say anything at all, I grabbed him and disapperated to my place. He was confused and me starting to beg him to leave Hogwarts otherwise he would be killed did not help him understand. I was still pleading that he should trust me and leave, but Severus refused and said that he had promised someone important to watch over her son. I instinctively knew that he meant Potter’s mother. I asked if he wanted to die for the boy and he denied it, but he would die for the promise he made to Potter’s mother. We argued for some time, before he deemed it silly and disapparated to his place. I was fuming with anger. How could he die for someone, who hated him? And while I was pacing up and down and pondering on this question, I realised that I did not want this fight to be our final moment together. I chose to follow him and having seen another Death Eater in front of his house I panicked. What if I was too late? I needed to find him and make sure that he was alright. I fanatically searched for him, looking in every room and the more I advanced the more worried I became. In my head I kept pleading that he was still alive and well. In my frenzy of finding him, I had forgotten to take a look at his brewing room. Realising this, I sprinted towards its door. Trying to calm myself down and already coming up with possible reasons why he would not be in this room, I opened the door. There he was standing in front of a smoking cauldron, muttering to himself as he skimped through a book. Apparently he had not heard me opening the door as he did not look up nor did he in any way acknowledge my presence. I walked up to him and tried to sound casual as I greeted him and asked him about the Death Eater in front of his house. He looked up and answered my question with asking me a new question. It was then that I decided to tell him about Voldi believing that there was a mole in the midst of the Death Eaters. I also added that I thought that Voldi had meant him and that was why I had been worried when I had seen the Death Eater. Severus simply nodded, then stood up and indicated me to wait for him. He soon returned with a cup of tea, which he gave to me. He was trying to calm me down as I tended to lose my rationality if agitated. When I had finally regained my composure, I asked him why he was at home instead of being back at Hogwarts. He refused to give me a straight answer and said something along the lines of making sure that I was alright. I then started to give him more details about Voldi’s suspicion. His first reaction was to ask me if I had been hurt, then immediately corrected himself by saying that if I had been found out I would be dead. A slight smile appeared on my face and he seemed confused by my reaction. So I told him how I felt when learning of Voldi’s guess. While doing so I remarked how his expression kept changing, from not understanding what I was going on about to realizing what my feelings were for him. I did not say it out aloud, but I was certain that he caught what I truly wanted to say. Finally I told him how I feared that I would lose him forever and he seemed puzzled by that admission. Slowly he got up and with his back towards me asked me why I would care about his death. Taken aback by this sudden question I did not know what to answer, nevertheless I wanted to make it clear to him that he deserved to live and be happy. It was this that I gave him as an answer. He turned around and for the first time since I knew him it was impossible for me to read his expression. I cannot even properly describe it. It was a mixture of several feelings, I saw elements of distress, pain and there were also other feelings in it. He started several times in order to saying something, but always thought better of it. He was at loss for words and it seemed to be a first for him. I waited for him to collect himself, before I started to speak again. I admitted that I did not understand why he would risk his life for someone so ungrateful, but that if he felt compelled to do it I would stand by him and help him. He interrupted me there and stated that it was not my fight to fight. In addition, he would feel better if he knew that I was safe and nowhere near the battlefield. Indeed, he was my black prince. However, soon enough we stopped talking about the impending war and possible death and covered other topics instead. As our discussions continued we had gone in the living room and had sat down on his couch. As it was quite cold in his home, which was logical as he was rarely home, he flicked his wand to light up the fireplace. However, as this took a while to heat up and I was still cold and I wanted to feel his warmth for a last time so I leant against him. Out of reflex he put his arm around me and pulled me. We both knew that this were likely to be the last hours we would spent together, even if neither of us wanted to say it aloud. We simply wanted to enjoy these few moments before the cold reality would catch up to us. While we were talking he continued to absentmindedly run his fingers through my hair, which gave me a long forgotten feeling of belonging and warmth. We were so absorbed in talking, that we did not realise how fast time flew by. We only realised that morning was dawning when he pushed me off him in order to get up and brew another kettle of tea. He called me and with his back still towards me told me that he was needed back in Hogwarts. I thought hearing some sorrow in his voice, but it was so faint that it might as well have been my imagination. My heart tightened when he said that. He had made his decision; he would go and fight to protect the school and Potter. I suppressed my tears, his words had hurt me and I was grateful that he was still standing with his back to me. I cleared my throat and announced that I would follow him. This made him turn around and he took my hand, but before he could say something I started my last attempt to make him stay. I was about to confess my feelings when he gently placed a finger on my mouth. He shook his head and asked me to promise him to stay away from the battlefield, as he wanted to know that I was safe. Then more like an afterthought he added that once he returned he would listen to me, so I should wait for him. I knew that he would not return, but I did not want to worry him, so I promised, especially when I saw the nearly pleading look in his eyes. Still having my hand in his, he pulled it up and gently placed a kiss on it, before letting it go and leaving me. I broke down; I had just lost him forever.


	11. Epilogue

Harry Potter had finished Crownland’s report and shook his head. It had been a waste of time reading it, but what should he have expected from this broken woman. Instead of focusing on Voldemort’s action, she had basically written a love report about her and Snape. It was useless, especially since she did not mention any names except Bellatrix’s and the Malfoys. He looked up thinking that he had heard something, but there was nothing. His nerves were playing tricks on him again. He decided to call it a day and stood up, not noticing the figure behind. When he turned around, he only saw the glistering of something before a sharp pain set in. He screamed when the next stab followed. ‘You killed him. Killed him. Murderer’ was the person saying. Harry was about to black out when he thought he recognized the person, but it was too late.

When Harry had stopped moving the person began to manically laugh. Alerted by the screams and laughing, Ron Weasley came sprinting to his best friend’s office. Nausea was threatening to take over when he saw Harry lying on the floor covered in blood, hardly breathing. Then his gaze caught something else. The predator was still in the room, holding the bloodied knife and laughing like a maniac.

  
**Potter attacked**

An unknown person attacked the boy-who-lived Harry Potter yesterday in his office. Upon arrival of his best friend, the attacker vanished. Ron Weasley, first person to arrive at the crime scene, claimed that the attacker was female and standing laughing over the nearly dead Potter. Potter had been stabbed several times and is as of now still fighting for his life. If you have noticed anything strange yesterday evening around 8 pm, near the Auror’s offices please inform them immediately.


End file.
